I am the Greatest Great High Grandest Grand Master Sum Dumm Gai. 
 

I was born... well, a long time ago.  Back... Oh around 10,000 B.C.  

Anyway, I invented the first weapon and consequently, the art of ninjitsu.

Ok, so it was only a rock, but I was hungry, Teb had a whole mammoth to eat and I had none.  I used stealth (I invented stealth also), snuck up behind him and hit him with the rock.  Now I had a mammoth to eat and Teb had none.

Through the ages I continued to perfect the arts of stealth, secrecy, and deception.  I invented most of the weapons used by man- knife, spear, bow, sai, pistol, nuclear bombs, etc. 

I have also trained most of the great warriors throughout history-  Ceaser, Gangis Khan, George Washington, Colin Powell, and Rambo.

I am currently on sabatical and living in a cave in Southern Utah.

My cave is so full of all the weapons and gear I have claimed from my fallen foes, I decided to start a website and sell it all off. 

If you are looking for a particular item and I don't have it on my site, please let me know.  I will see if there is someone I can take it from so I can sell it to you.